BUT COKE PROMISED ME HAPPINESS . . .

I saw the ad on tv.

Smiling happy people opening a bottle or can of Coke. So carefree, all lithe and tanned and sexy, having so much fun,

a par-tee!

Damnit I thought, I want some of that . . .

I bought a can of Coke.

I was more nervous than when I first kissed a girl.

After all, I was going to

open happiness.

. . . .  when I took the can back to the woman behind the counter in the local shop, and said I wanted my money back

because I was no happier . . .

she said I was a moron, that she’d call the police, and chased me out of the shop with a broom! Tsk, tsk.

Wikipedia:

. . “ads create a hyper-real world where commodities appear as the key to securing happiness. Anti-

consumerists cite studies that find that individuals believe their quality of life improves in relation to social values

that lie outside the capability of the market place. Therefore, advertising attempts to equate the social with

the material by utilizing images and slogans to link commodities with the real sources of human happiness,

such as meaningful relationships. Ads are then a detriment to society because they tell consumers that

accumulating more and more possessions will bring them closer to self-actualization, or the concept of a complete

and secure being. “The underlying message is that owning these products will enhance our image and ensure our

popularity with others”.^[11]

Coke may rot your teeth.

It will rot your mind.

AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK.