Thecuriousmail’s Weblog

I GET TO MARCH IN THE ANZAC DAY PARADE!

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 11, 2009

I realized the other day that I am a veteran of four wars (So far. I sure could get drafted again), and so should be entitled to march in the Anzac Day parade. Although I’ll probably get stuck at the back of the parade (alongside women and Aborigines), I am proud of my position as a veteran.

My first campaign: THE WAR AGAINST DRUGS.

I was wounded in this campaign, and we did sustain many casualties. It was a prolonged fight, but of course we were victorious in the end. Now there are no illegal drugs in society — which is a good thing of course, unless you’re tired of being drunk.

My second campaign: THE WAR AGAINST POVERTY.

This was our Vietnam. People still don’t really talk about it. It was brief, and while nobody admitted it, we all knew we had been defeated. Still, if you could ever be happy losing a war, we all were for some reason.

My third campaign: THE WAR AGAINST CHILD SEX.

I was happy to fight in this war for the sake of the kiddies. It used to be that the vast majority of child sex abuse happened in the family, by family members or those known to the family. You know we couldn’t admit to that. Darn it, the family is the building block of society. So after the ‘Stranger Danger’ front was opened, we knew victory was only a matter of time. And so it was. Now kids are free to be sexualized, but no actual sex remember.

My fourth campaign: THE WAR AGAINST TERROR.

I was wounded here too. We all knew we’d have to sacrifice some freedoms in the fight against this enemy. The Commies who complain have no idea that the end justifies the means. Right? They should all go back to Russia. There has been some difficulties in identifying the enemy, but with the new strategy of imprisoning or killing people we only half-suspect, we’ve got to be left with only the real terrorists. Right? I think that’s the way it goes. We’re sure to win this one!

We've won the war against drugs, and now enjoy a cold beer.We’ve won the war against drugs, and now enjoy a cold beer.

Let's not talk about the war against poverty. Wasn't a success.Let’s not talk about the war against poverty. Wasn’t a success.

Now the kiddies are safe.Now the kiddies are safe.

We must be vigilant in the war against terrorWe must be vigilant in the war against terror

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