Thecuriousmail’s Weblog


Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 20, 2009
Malcolm Turnbull

Malcolm Turnbull, former Australian politician.

Children, this is a very strange  tale indeed. Are you

tucked up tight in bed? Ok, good.

Once upon a time there lived a man who sought to lead his

people to the Promised Land, a land of wealth and pleasure,

of free markets and conspicuous consumption.

His name was  Malcolm and he thought he had a divine right to

rule. But he struggled for acceptance. The people saw him

as privileged and pampered, and Malcolm grew  increasingly frustrated.

But in an instant he thought he had the answer and made a decision that became known later as the ‘Malcolm Gambit’.

To every question and request he said ‘no’, where any decision had to be made he decided in the negative. He knew

what he had done in the past had obviously failed, so such a radical course of action he thought was warranted.

He didn’t tell people what he had decided though, so his constant negativity and opposition left most people non-

plussed. He became known as the ‘no’ man.

But Malcolm had started a chain-reaction and an existential black hole was forming around him. A physical black

hole sucks in matter, but an existential black hole sucks in negativity, and Malcolm was at its centre

 and becoming the most negative person in the universe.

All this negativity was too much for Malcolm, would be too much for any person to bear, and he completely stopped

making sense. Malcolm had become the ‘no sense’ man, a mere shadow of his former self: no longer witty or

vivacious ( well he liked to think he was anyway), not even simply negative, he was now a no man who made no sense.

People stopped listening to him, and his friends and supporters were quick to desert him.

Sadly gone forever were Malcolm’s hopes of becoming leader and leading the people to the Promised Land.

A wreck, he lived out his shortened life in obscurity as the Liberal Party President.

Children, remember what happened to Malcolm, don’t be negative just for the sake of being negative. The no man

ended up making no sense at all. Remember the stupidity of the Malcolm Gambit children, and so live a long and

positive life.

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