Thecuriousmail’s Weblog

AUSTRALIA TO GET A POET LAUREATE, MATE!

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 23, 2009

The Prime Minister, Mr Kevin Rudd, announced today that a selection panel would begin evaluating applications  for the newly-created position of Australia’s first poet laureate.

“I’m very excited to announce this today,” said Mr Rudd. “It’s time for Australia to show the world that we are sophisticated and literate.”

But Mr Rudd was clear that he wanted a ‘people’s poet’ who wrote poetry that “ordinary people could relate to”. “I want someone who can celebrate what it means to be Australian, and inspire Australian society to even greater heights. Like the Opera House in prose I reckon” said Mr Rudd.

The poet laureate position will be for life, with a substantial annual stipend and free VB beer. The person is expected to contribute a poem on important national occasions, like Anzac Day, the Melbourne Cup,  and the football Grand Final.  Mr Rudd indicated that if he hadn’t gone into politics, he could have “made a mark in poetry”, but was frustrated by the sentiment that the only good poet is a dead one.

It is believed that top candidates for the poet laureate position include John Elliot, Kylie Minogue, Shane Warne and Paul Keating.  Only Mr Keating could be contacted for a response, and he said “If pimple-headed Rudd reckons I’m going to write ditties for dumb and drunk bogans, he’s stupider than he looks.”

Mr Rudd indicated that he was inclined to support the proposal that a lasting contribution a poet laureate might make to the Australian people, is after death to have themselves stuffed, mounted, and put on display at the Australian Museum,  though some critics suggest this might limit nominations.

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2 Responses

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  1. Paul said, on April 23, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Ha! I want that job. Especially if I get stuffed and mounted after death. Fantastic.

    • thecuriousmail said, on April 24, 2009 at 6:32 pm

      haha. maybe they’ll just save your brain, and you’ll become a Davros figure and lead a Darlek-like empire?? Fuk, cool! haha


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