Thecuriousmail’s Weblog


Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 29, 2009
Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd

Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd

Australian Prime Minister, Mr Kevin Rudd, today announced a captive

breeding program for the endangered Australian socialist animal.

Population levels of the Australian socialist animal have been declining

for decades, to the point where most experts agree the population is not

viable, with  less than a hundred full-blood animals remaining  in the wild.

Scattered cross-breed groups around the country are also believed to

be unviable.

Mr Rudd’s plans call for all full-blood animals to be trapped and re-located

to special honeymoon suites in the Canberra Hilton.

Mr Rudd noted :”There will be chocolates and champagne available on

arrival, and all rooms have candles, a spa, and a vibrating bed. If this doesn’t put them in the mood,

nothing will!” joked Mr Rudd.

The plan has attracted widespread criticism from various groups who say socialism is out-dated by a world obsessed

with greed, consumerism, and self-interest, and that the extinction of the Australian socialist animal is no great loss.

Supporters of the proposal could not be contacted, as it is believed they are in hiding after an orchestrated hate

campaign  against them had been  initiated.

Former Prime Minister, Mr John Howard, speaking after giving a speech at a Liberal Party fund-raising dinner,  said

he had always looked forward to the day when the Australian socialist animal was as dead as a dodo.

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Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 24, 2009


Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 24, 2009


Thank you for joining me Mr Cheney.

DC: My pleasure. I think you’ll find I still have a lot to offer this great country.

How do you feel about the election result?

DC: Well it’s obvious the American people made a mistake, a grave mistake I think.

I’d like to say I hope that I’m wrong, but I don’t. If the American people want to reject Republicanism, well  they

deserve what’s coming to them, frankly.

What is coming Mr Cheney?

DC: We’re in the end days now, no doubt it. Now I’m not particulary religious, but I am a Christian, and I do believe

 in God, and I can see the signs.  Any fool could if you think about it.  A black man as president has let loose

 terrorists in this country. I say to the American people, watch your neighbour closely, report to the authorities

anything that could be suspicious, because this black president has put a terrorist in the house next door. Your

neighbour could be your most feared enemy, undermining our way-of-life, plotting to kill you and overthrow our

great system.

Mr Cheney, you’ve made some comments about the cause of the current financial crisis.

What is it that you mean?

DC: It’s another sign of the end days. Some irresponsible commentators, along with a black president, have been

criticising greed and what they say is an unaccountability. This couldn’t be further from the truth! It’s the terrorists

who are to blame! A second front has been opened by the terrorists in their war against America and what we stand

for. The CIA has reliably informed me that Che Guevara is not dead, I say again, not dead, and has joined forces with

Bin Laden, and the current financial crisis is the first battle in this new war.

How can we win this new war Mr Cheney?

DC: With hard decisions, hard decisions I don’t think a black God-hating president is willing to make. I tell you,

it’s the end days.

It is an interesting perspective Mr Cheney.

DC: Thank you. I was as ignorant as you until I was told some home-truths. I say to the American people, don’t you

be afraid if a flying saucer beams you up. The aliens are not to be feared. They’re just like us true Americans.

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Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 23, 2009

Drivingroo their bug-eyed utes, the upright apes head into

the bush with a beer in hand and rifles behind the seat.

I see a T-shirt: ‘I kill for fun’. They are going kangaroo shooting.

They come out at night and drive around looking for their prey.

When a kangaroo is caught in their spot-lights it freezes, and

 the upright apes fire their rifles and crossbows.

A bullet blows the head off a kangaroo and they cheer. A 

crossbow bolt lodges in the side of a kangaroo, but it manages

 to slowly hop away. And they guffaw, it’s sooo funny.

The roos are a pest mate.

No, you are the pest upright ape.

It’s just a bit of fun mate.

Ah yes, inflicting pain and death on another creature for no reason other than . . . . it’s fun for you. I see. The gunman

at Port Arthur is known to have said exactly the same thing.

We’re hunters just like thousands of years ago. It’s just us and the animals. Nothing wrong with that mate.

Mmmm, I see the similarities. An early human hunting a mammoth with a spear, so that they can eat, and you

killing a defenceless kangaroo with a high-powered weapon for fun. Got it! And I know you gotta watch out

 for those kangaroos: they’ve got tusks and fangs and sing karaoke, you’d be lucky to escape with your life man.

Roo shooting is what passes for initiation into manhood for the white Australian male. But no ceremony here: the

Australian male is too stupid to know and too drunk to remember.

I’d like to see the so-called ‘hunters’ who kill for fun and trophies,  swim in a creek in North Queensland with a 4

metre salt-water crocodile, armed only with a knife.

Ohh, that’s a bit too fair mate.


Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 16, 2009



rack The George W Bush antique style rack is now available. Serious bidders only. This item comes

with a certificate of authenticity as to a minimum of 1000 previous dislocations.

Pristine units with a documented history like this one don’t come onto the market very often.

Act now to avoid disappointment! Winning bidder was to receive 2 free lessons from

George, but this offer has been withdrawn as George does not get his hands dirty.

knuckle dusterNext featured item is the Dick Cheney gold-plated knuckle dusters. Fancy a bit of bling

when you’re facing a hard day of violence in the name of the free world?? This item is for

you then! Look good while you’re making end justify means, and be the envy of your

colleagues. You know you deserve it!  No tyre kickers please.

head crusherOur last item today is the Donald Rumsfeld head crusher. Simply put the head of a

 suspected terrorist in the crusher and it will break bone and teeth with ease.

Life cannot be any easier with this item. You can maintain a level of torture you are

comfortable with, and it is guaranteed to pop eyeballs! This item comes with Donald’s

personal certificate of total absolution. As is tho, has been used with calculated evilness by Donald. This is the last

chance to have something in your collection owned and used the great man!  A piece of history!

No reserve. No understanding at all.


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Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 10, 2009

GranpaIn an aged nursing home in Brisbane today, the last living dwarf  in Australia

has died.

With parents being able to genetically modify embryos, select gender,

and terminate pregnancies where embryos show undesirable characteristics,

Abe had lived most of his life as a unique individual.

No dwarf has been born in Australia in the last 50 years, and Abe had said

recently that he intentionally lived the latter part of his life as a recluse.

“I’d go out and people would start laughing and jeering at me. In the end it

was simplier to just not  go out,” said Abe.

Abe was at the centre of a furore last year on the occasion of the Prime Minister presenting Abe with a cake for his

75th birthday.

In what was intended to be a staged media event for the Prime Minister, Abe was clearly heard to say to him: “I’m

the last little person and you’re a big prick!”

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Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 10, 2009

AusBiotech, an Australian company that already holds several patents on the human genome, has been granted a patent on water by the Federal Government.

According to AusBiotech CEO, Dr Anna Lavelle, “the company’s invention of water followed years of intense research, and the company is now in a position to fully exploit their invention”.

It is believed that the price of water will soon increase, but Dr Lavelle indicated that water supply would not restricted “just to increase our profit. But our shareholders do insist that we maximize their returns,” she said.

Laws in Australia have been introduced to enforce the new patent on water. The police and local council officers have been empowered to issue on-the-spot fines to people caught attempting to collect and store supplies of water.

“When it’s raining I expect to see the new laws rigorously enforced,” said Dr Lavelle.

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Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 8, 2009

Dr  Philip Nietzsche, an Australian euthanasia advocate, was detained for 9 hours at London airport by British immigration officials. He was entering England for a conference and a series of meetings.

I think Nietzsche is sincere in his motivation to help those people in pain and dying who choose to end their own lives.

Calling him “Dr Death” and such things does nothing to contribute to a meaningful discussion. Listening to the dying people who are in a position where they contemplate ending their lives, would be a start.

Defacto euthanasia is practiced by some doctors now, and dying people are choosing to take their own lives now, with or without the involvement of Nietzsche, with or without reconciling the disingenuousness and  hypocrisy of monotheism.

I support Nietzsche, but I am wary of state involvement in this matter. Here in Queensland there are long public hospital waiting lists. Can you conceive of a situation where a dying older person chooses NOT to take their own life, but in the name of various exigences (like– “you are dying, take your own life, so we can better direct limited health resources to the younger”) some people are encouraged to suicide?

Humans often seem to have a tendency to make bad situations worse due to an inability to understand consequences. The state does this all the time.


Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 7, 2009

mick20keelty1AFP Commissoner, Mr Mick Keelty, has resigned from his position for

undisclosed reasons (please see my first ever post).

Mr Keelty had based his career on being the Coalition’s Sergeant-At-Arms,

and now that the Coalition lost the election and are in Opposition, he is believed

to have felt unloved.

Various national and international security agencies are understood to have

approached Mr Keelty to act in a consultant capacity. It seems the “bumbling

cop” type is in demand.

Oh Mickey you’re so fine, Mickey, Mickey!


Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on May 3, 2009


The radical Islamic suicide bombers are seeking to achieve . . . what?


And how are they achieving their goals by killing the anonymous?
The vast majority of people the Islamic suicide bombers kill are powerless in their political system. The rich and powerful make consoling noises about the slaughter, and instigate more draconian control measures on their population, not so much to protect the population, but to protect their own privileged positions. A stampeding herd could drive them from their places, so the privileged pretend to care, pretend to comprehend, pretend to offer a solution.
To the Islamic suicide bomber: why do you kill a child, why do you kill a sad  middle-aged divorced woman whose only children have died in accidents, why do you kill an old man who has no family and who has cancer but can’t afford the medication to treat it?
Why not
billionaire robber baron donald trump,
or socialite paris hilton,
or paparazzi photographer- chief
darryn lyons?
It is these kind of people that surely epitomize 
whom you despise.