Thecuriousmail’s Weblog

WHAT GOD DID NOT SAY TO THE UPRIGHT APE

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 29, 2009

Mmmmmmmmmm

What God didn’t say to the upright ape:

Just because you can, does not mean you should.

DICKO RELEASES NEW REALITY TV PROGRAM

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 28, 2009

DICKSON

Ian ‘Dickhead’ Dickson today launched a new reality tv show for

Channel 10.

The program is titled ‘I’m A Celebrity Candidate–Now Vote For Me’, and is

a fly-on-the-wall expose that follows celebrity candidates in the lead up

to next year’s Australian Federal election.

“I want to do for politics what I did for music with Australian Idol,” said Mr

Dickson. “It’s a great idea, and I have the support of the major political

parties. Celebrity candidates are being finalized now, but I can tell you

there’ll be a few surprises. Watch this space I say.”

The Greens declined to be involved in the show, and have drawn Mr Dickson’s ire. “Politics doesn’t belong in

political parties. When will the Greens learn? We all want people who stand for nothing, and I’ll laugh all the way

to the bank! Cheers!”

Tagged with:

SCANDAL EMERGES AFTER PITTSBURGH G20 SUMMIT

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 28, 2009

Details are coming to light of a night of debauchery by political leaders that followed the closing dinner at the recent

G20 summit in  Pittsburgh.

Fuelled by alcohol, the atmosphere at the dinner became increasing bitter as inebriated leaders and their spouses

belittled the serving staff.  A waitress is believed to have fled the room crying, and to have locked herself in a

 cloakroom, and an usher was physically assaulted by a drunken leader who thought the usher was “staring at him

funny”.

It is understood that towards the end of the evening  female passports were placed in a crystal bowl, and the males

lined up to randomly draw out a  name. A leader who attended was interviewed on the condition of anonymity, and

said: “In no way was it wife swapping. We were simply networking.” 

It is believed Australian Prime Minister, Mr Kevin Rudd, was ejected from the room by fellow guests after trying to

cheat on the name drawing. Mr Rudd was found to have tried to arrange it so that American President, Mr Barack

Obama, drew out his name.

While being removed from the room Mr Rudd was overheard to exclaim: “I want to go black and never go back!

We are meant to be! Barack, pleeeaaassssssseeee!

JAMES HARDIE WINS GOLDEN TURD AWARD FOR CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 24, 2009

In August the Supreme Court of New South Wales imposed

fines on the company, executives, and directors for “deliberately

misleading”  information by them on the state of the

compensation fund for asbestos victims.

This fund was established to provide financial compensation for

people suffering from diseases related to asbestos.

James Hardie and six former directors are now appealing the decision.

A majority of commentors believed the original Supreme Court’s decision was manifestly inadequate, given that the

company and directors have provided ‘misleading information’ (ie, lies, untruths, obfuscation) over many years on

a variety of  issues.

And now they have the gall to appeal, fined thousands when they have made millions, and when they should have

been found guilty of murder.

Recently a court imprisoned a woman for social security fraud. She got 12 months imprisonment for claiming two

unemployment benefits (when she was only entitled to one). About $12, 000.

James Hardie, the directors and executives, have made many millions of dollars, and have killed people, and

people will continue to die from using their products, when the company knew that there were health consequences

and did nothing to alert people of the consequences, and when they have intentionally set about under-funding and

undermining the compensation fund.

They lied and killed.

And were fined.

And now they appeal the fines as too harsh??????????

It is hard to argue on behalf of these people for any kind of mercy. They are contemptible.

BUZZCOCKS – I BELIEVE

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 23, 2009

NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE WANTS TO SACRIFICE VIRGINS IN RESPONSE TO GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 23, 2009

Wall Street-buildingThe Chairman of the New York Stock Exchange today

announced that in an attempt the ameliorate effects of the

current Global Financial Crisis, virgins will begin to be

sacrificed from next week.

It is believed the ceremony will be held on the floor of the

Stock Exchange, and a virgin will be sacrificed each week

until greed is once again seen as good.

The Chairman said such an extreme measure was only seriously considered after community attempts to hold the

financial sector accountable for the economic crisis.

“It is correct that so far we have not been inundated with virgins offering to be sacrificed, but we believe with

the proposed marketing campaign, numbers should increase immediately. And if we have to broaden the

definition of a virgin, then we will.”

“I’d also like to thank KFC for their sponsorship of this GFC Great Virgin Sacrifice. And Paris, please call me!”

AMERICAN PROTESTORS ATTACK DEMOCRACY AS “JUST MORE SOCIALISM”

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 22, 2009

american healthcare protestsAfter successfully protesting against a universal healthcare

program in Amerika,  on the grounds that it was socialist,

protestors have begun attacking democracy as “clearly

socialist in origin”.

A protestor interviewed said that “universal suffrage was a way

for the socialists to get in thru the back-door”, and that

because democracy was a socialist conspiracy, it had to

be rejected.

 “People are individuals with a free-will bestowed by God, and we reject any kind of universality, whether it be

healthcare, democracy, or anything like that,  as anti-American and anti-God,” she said.

“You know, as long as I have the strength to protest, gravity will never apply to me either!”

AUSTRALIA’S POPULATION 1 BILLION (AND DON’T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME MATE)

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on September 20, 2009

landfillThe Australian government has supported a

report that calls for a large increase in

the current Australian population level.

Australia’s current population level is about

22 million. The report advocates a

 population level of 35 million by 2050.

Some business groups have responded by

saying that Australia ‘needs’ to have a

 population level of 200 million or more.

In contrast, some demographers have said that Australia’s sustainable population level could be as low as 6 million.

What are the basis of the arguments in favour of a large population?? All of the arguments in favour that I have

 heard are fundamentally economic, but of a peculiar greed-obsessed out-dated economic orthodoxy.

The one word I have never seen used in an argument for a large Australian population is sustainability. In fact, all

advocates of a large Australian population say there will be problems because of that, but that the solutions to these

problems will be found. So, these people are saying we’ve made a mess, but trust us, we’ll clean it up. No, I don’t

think so. Do you trust them?? Trust their motives?? Trust their abilities??

Recent attempts at a current status report of Australia’s environmental situation makes frankly alarming reading,

 and projections show a bad situation becoming increasingly worse. This is the future that those who want to

make more money are creating for all of us, and like lemmings we follow.

If we allow this to happen, we deserve it.

TAKE ACTION NOW