Thecuriousmail’s Weblog

A QUEENSLAND PERSPECTIVE

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 29, 2010

With the furore recently concerning the myriad of lies and deceptions from the Queensland Government, we

thought it in the interest of democracy to re-establish voter confidence in the political process.

To that end, we asked Premier Bligh and Treasurer Fraser,  a simple question.

To get the ball rolling, so to speak. Ok, a piece of cake. Righto then.

Q. Premier Bligh, is it true or false that plans for the public asset sell-off were made prior to the last election and

kept secret by your government?

 

Oh, it was that long???

Q. Treasurer Fraser, were undisclosed plans made before the last election for the public asset sell-off?

                                                                                              Oh, it was that long???

Phew, that was easy. Now I’m a happy voter in a happy democracy.

Thank you both for your time.

HAIL KING KYLE SANDILANDS

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 26, 2010

Perpetual ‘Tool of the Month’ award winner, Kyle

Sandilands, is being paid $1 million a year to be a part-time

co-host of the crass television program ‘Australia’s Got

Talent’.

I love it! If ever proof was needed that money and ability

are not necessarily connected, in television land boorish

and lame King Kyle gets paid a king’s ransom to judge ‘talent’.

Why wouldn’t you think he’d be laughing all the way to the bank? He can fool all the people in tv land all the time,

but not all the people all the time.

It was Anzac Day yesterday. Is this what they died for? I’m sure the ghosts of dead Australians would not think

highly of the buffoon king kyle.

And I’m sure that would never ever matter to him. King kyle reigns in the kingdom of fools.

TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN WAGE SLAVE OPENED

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 25, 2010

In a sombre ceremony in Canberra today, Australian Prime

 Minister, Mr Kevin Rudd, opened the Tomb of the Unknown

Wage Slave.

Before a crowd of invited dignitaries, Mr Rudd expressed the

nation’s gratitude for the millions of Australians who throughout

our history who have worked in low-paid menial jobs, jobs with

 little satisfaction and no future, and who have had to fight for even

the smallest improvement in pay and conditions, all so that they can

barely make ends meet.

Mr Rudd said he was “concerned at the high number of working poor in Australia today, but the specificity of the  

particular situational exigencies precludes  fundamental substantive improvement.”

Serial pest, broadcaster Mr Alan Jones, was ejected from the ceremony after he was seen to have urinated  against a

wall inside the tomb. As he was being escorted out,  Mr Jones denied that he was drunk, and said “those chardonnay

sipping socialists in there aren’t so different to me.”

TONY ABBOTT’S DOLE PLAN

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 25, 2010

Federal Opposition leader and Chief Inquisitor, Mr Tony

Abbott, recently called for people under thirty to lose

unemployment benefits if they refused to move to areas

where there were jobs available.

Mr Abbott has elaborated on his plan. Here is what he said:

I think the unemployed should take a really good look at themselves, ask themselves if they’re not responsible

for the economic mess we’re in, and if the nation wants them to do something to help clean up the mess they’ve

made, what possible objection could they have? You tell me.  God does not punish us without first giving us the

chance to redeem ourselves. And so it is with my plan.  After the economic mess the unemployed have created,  

they now have the opportunity to redeem themselves, and it is work that will set them free.

Work will set the young dole-bludgers free, and the dolphins and the whales and the butterflies.

 But not the loony left or the anti-papists. They are going to Hell.” 

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AN INTERVIEW WITH CHAIRMAN MAO FROM THE AFTER-LIFE

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 11, 2010

CONVENTIONAL          AUTHORITY          HAS          FAILED         AND         IS            NOW          THE           ENEMY.

NEVER  SO  CORRUPT   NOR   SO    COMPROMISED    NOR  SO  EVIL ,  AND  SO   CULPABLE,

IT  IS  CLEAR  NOW THAT  IT IS  OUR  DUTY  TO RESIST  AND  OPPOSE THEM.”

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MANDATORY INTERNET FILTER IN AUSTRALIA

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 10, 2010

The  Federal Government will legislate a mandatory internet filter in Australia this year. Australia will become the

first so-called Western democracy to introduce such a measure, and will join the likes of China and Iran as countries

which censor internet traffic. The list of sites blocked, and the reason for the blocking, will not be made public.

 Aside from the free speech objection to the measure, various computer experts say that the filtering will not

actually work.

Stephen Conroy, MP

Today we are joined in the studio by the Federal

Communications Minister, Mr Stephen Conroy.

Good morning Minister. How do you respond to the criticism

that the internet filter won’t work as you say it will?

SC: Well that claim is rubbish. The Australian bananas can be

confident that the internet filter will be as well thought- out

and as effective as the home insulation program.

Why is the list of blocked sites not being made public?

SC: Because we’re elected to govern, and that’s what we are

 going to do . . if  you give us the chance, that is.

Look, I don’t think anything is accomplished by making the list public, and I talk to bananas everyday, and not

one banana has raised the issue with me. It’s a non issue as far as I’m concerned.

Where’s B2?

SC: We’ve had something of a disagreement on this matter, and we’ve agreed to a trial separation. We have a

public life of course, but all bananas are entitled to a private life. So now,  it’s not necessary for me  to ask you

to respect our privacy.

 ‘ello ‘ello,  move on bananas, nothing to google here.

Death by Weltschmerz

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 9, 2010

I spent over an hour in the doctor’s cramped waiting room, bored and listless. I flicked thru a few of the magazines,

but I don’t think those ten year old magazines could ever have been interesting, even ten years ago.  But they

do sell. So I guess I’m wrong then. A child, waiting with his mother, tried to hide from her what he was doing as he

picked his nose. She noticed and smacked him; he turned away and ate it, and smiled.

I was summoned into the doctor’s room.

I’m afraid it’s fatal,  the doctor said to me. You have Weltschmerz Syndrome. I’d give you six months tops, and

it’s an excruciating death. No point sugar-coating it you know. . . . . And it’s all your fault too,  you know; you’ve

done this to yourself. The world you want cannot exist.  The predator/survivor reality is all there is.

You can’t keep blaming the world. It’s not listening . . .

Do you mind if I get a second opinion?

Hi everyone, it’s Dr Nick!

Hi Dr Nick!

Don’t you listen to what he say. The deaf can’t hear a scream. And death is not the end. Bye everyone!

Bye Dr Nick!

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iPAD WILL SAVE THE WORLD

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 5, 2010

The new Apple iPad has been released with the widespread expectation

that it will save the world.

The excitement had been so great that some people had fasted

 and prayed for three days before the release, and there were

unconfirmed reports of self-flagellation, human sacrifice, and

maxing of credit cards.

The iPAD is made from 100% recycled material by blissfully happy Chinese

political prisoners, and is believed to be powered by the user’s self-

deprecation. In an emergency situation the iPAD can also be eaten, with

the nutritional value of 100 Big Macs, and “can give you a cuddle if you’re feeling a bit blue”, said Apple boss, Mr

Steve Jobs.

In an interview granted the day before the iPAD release, Mr Jobs commented that the iPAD is a more important

invention than the wheel.

Some people believe that Mr Jobs is actually divine, as he condemns the ridicule of public figures.

 The ghost of L Ron Hubbard is believed to be iMIFFED.

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STATE AND NON-STATE TERRORISM

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on April 1, 2010

39 Russian civilians were killed in two suicide bombings on trains

in Moscow.

The suicide bombers are believed to be women, and from the

North Caucasus, a string of majority Muslim provinces that

include Chechnya, Dagestan, and Ingushetia.

In 1999 then Russian President Putin ordered an invasion of

 Chechnya and installed an unelected pro-Moscow government.

 During the invasion, there were independent and corroborated accounts of atrocities by the Russian forces against

civilians, including (intimidation, theft, assault,)  torture, rape, and murder.

After the invasion, poverty, corruption, and abuses of power prevails in Chechnya.

Violence and the abuse of human rights has continued, according to a number of human rights organizations, and a

number of aid workers and human rights activists have been abducted and murdered.

According to Amnesty International, “The authorities in Chechnya have continued to intimidate and persecute

human rights defenders and those who seek justice for abuses.”

The now Russian Prime Minister Putin has said that he will “scrape them (the rebels) from the bottom of the

 sewers”, and “we will destroy them”.

Anon, the madness of the upright ape knows no bounds. . . . on and on and on . .

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