Thecuriousmail’s Weblog

EXCLUSIVE! I SHARED THE TOILET WITH OPRAH!

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on December 15, 2010

A security scare has marred American television personality, Oprah Winfrey’s, current Australian visit. It is

believed security guards had to intervene after Ms Winfrey was accosted by a fan in the toilets at the

Sydney Opera House.

 Mrs M Alice (pictured right) was arrested by police after a

complaint from Ms Winfrey, but was later released without

charges.

Mrs Alice has spoken exclusively to Who Magazine. “I was

in the ladies public toilet at the Opera House dear, when

Oprah’s minders came in and ordered everyone out.  I was in

the far cubicle, and what with my artificial hip, I can’t move as

quick as I used to. And then I got scared, and decided I should

just stay there. I could hear people leave, so I thought I’d be ok.

But I heard a cubicle door close. After a few moments I could hear Oprah talking, on a phone I think. I know

Oprah’s voice because I’ve been a huge fan for years. She must have had a stomach upset, because the amount

of farting noises and such like coming from her cubicle was not very lady-like, not lady-like at all letting it all

hang out.  Oprah must be used to it though, as she continued talking on the phone. Talking to someone named

Hugh. And my, it was a very fruity conversation!  Times change I’m sure, but I don’t think the pope would

ever approve of what she was talking to Hugh about. I tried not to listen of course, as was proper, but what I did

hear kept me blushing overnight dear.

Well, after a couple of minutes Oprah hung up and flushed the toilet. I could hear her dressing you see. And

then she screamed dear! Screamed for help. I heard a number of footsteps rushing into the toilet, and the door

to the cubicle opening, and I think Oprah staggered out.

I then heard a serious male voice say: “You’d better call for back-up. We’ve got a floater!”

I chuckled. I couldn’t help it dear. Oh my, but then was I in trouble! I called out to Oprah to try more fibre in

her diet, but then the police came in. I’ve never been in trouble before, you see dear.”

Who Magazine asked Ms Winfrey if she has now increased fibre in her diet. She gave us a cheerful tumbs up!

 

THE SQUIRES PRINCIPLE: A PERSPECTIVE ON OVERPOPULATION

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on December 12, 2010

Perhaps somewhat optimistically, I have argued that most people most of

the time have an innate understanding of what is right and proper, and will

act in the appropriate manner. For sure, at times we all manufacture

explanations and justifications not to do so. But we don’t even fool ourselves.

I do concede that in these times it is very difficult to find among the

behaviour of conventional authority much to support that notion, as the

political, business, and religious leaders line up to lie, confuse, and excuse.

As enunciated to me, the Squires principle is that as the population

increases, the actual proportion of stupid people increases. The cause of this

apparent effect was to be investigated. Of course the number of stupid people will necessarily increase as the

population increases (if the proportion was constant), but the Squires principle is that the proportion itself

increases, so we end up with an ever increasing number of stupid people. Some argue that they are now in the

majority. Everyone at some time or another seems to have done  dumb things, but that is distinguished from a

person as stupid. What then for the much-cherished democratic ideal?  As stupid leaders lead stupid people,

onward and upward, are we to end up as the only species that expired by disappearing up their own arses?

THE WIKILEAKS SAGA: AN INTERVIEW WITH SENATOR JOE LIEBERMAN

Posted in Uncategorized by thecuriousmail on December 5, 2010

Thank you for joining us Senator Lieberman.

God bless America.

As chairman of the Senate Homeland Security Committee, what do you

see as the greatest threat to homeland security?

The recent dissemination by Wikileaks of thousands of State

Department cables and other documents is just the latest

example of how our national security interests, the interests

of our allies, and the safety of government employees

and countless other individuals are jeopardized by the illegal

release of classified and sensitive information.

Some commentors have said that these kind of claims are an absurd exaggeration, and that the main effect of the

WikiLeaks releases has simply been political embarrassment.

Well I haven’t heard that on Fox News. Rupert and I are of one mind on this matter. And I think

you’ll find that political embarrassment is a serious issue.

Or is that political credibility and accountability Senator Lieberman? Let’s say that you publicly state that advice

to you was that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, and that justifies an invasion.  But the advice to you was

that actually Iraq didn’t have weapons of mass destruction. WikiLeaks releases that advice given to you. Do the

public have a right to know that your public statements were, let us say, inconsistent with the truth?

Political leaders are elected to govern, by any means they see fit.

Some WikiLeaks releases relate to American agents illegally detaining and torturing suspected terrorists on

German national soil, and that pressure that was placed on the German government not to interfere.

So what??

It is likely that the terrorist groups themselves were aware of, or suspected this occurring. If the terrorist groups

then as a result decided on an attack on German soil, isn’t it the German public who are likely to die, unaware

that American agents were acting illegally in Germany, or that the German government was being pressured

 by the American government not to intervene?

Son, there are casualties in every war.

I’d say people would want to know why they are potential targets.

The terrorist is the enemy here, and political leaders have been elected to win this war by any

and all means.

Some commentators say that the public have a right to know.

You tell me who they are and I’ll have them arrested too.  Son, you can’t fight a war against

terrorists with one arm tied behind your back, and Julian Assange is the chief terrorist. We will

persecute and prosecute him wherever possible, and we’ll do anything we can to turn his life

 into a living nightmare. Don’t think we haven’t considered having him killed, but we’ve put

 that on the back-burner while we work through some other strategies first.

Is it right for the so-called bastion of Western democracy to ever consider killing this person?

Son, this is a war, and the end justifies the means.

If justice must not only be done, but must be seen to be done, what about politics?

I don’t think I’m in a position to answer that.

Thank you for your time Senator Lieberman.

God bless America, and all who sink in her.